A
man walks into a doctors office one day, completely naked,
and covered in saran wrap. He goes to the doctor, and the
doctor does some tests, and hours later, he tells the man,
"Well, I can clearly see your nuts."
There
was an apartment building with three floors on the first floor
there was a gay guy eating dozens of pickles on the second
floor there was a guy painting his walls green and on the
third floor there was two guys naked have a sword fight one
day while the two naked guys were having a sword fight naked,
one guy accidentally chopped the other guys penis off which
fell to the second floor in the green paint which rolled onto
the first floor and into the gay guys pickles jar the gay
guy picked it out and took a bite and said that's the best
pickle I ever tasted.
A
man walks into a bar after a hellish day of work not noticing
it was a gay bar. So when he walks over to order his drink,
a gay meets him and said" Have you ever played bar football?"
The man never heard such a thing and wanted to know how to
play. The gay replied," Its very easy. All you have to
do is down a pitcher of beer and fart right after. Downing
the beer is a touchdown and the fart is the field goal."
The man was thinking it through and thought that something
might go right for a change. So the gay started the game by
downing the beer and farting. He then said," Now that
is seven points. Now you try." The man down the beer
and when he lend over to fart, right then the gay put his
finger up the man's ass and stated," Now that is how
you block a field goal!"
Once
a person was eating a banana. But a guy went up to him and
asked, "Where is Stanley Street? I want to know this
because my name is Stanley Cup." So the person guided
him to GM Place and said,"Bye!"
Statistically,
doctors are approximately 9,000 times more dangerous than
gun owners.
Remember,
"Guns don't kill people, doctors do."
FACT:
Not everyone has a gun, but almost everyone has at least one
doctor.
Please
alert your friends to this alarming threat immediatly. We
must ban doctors before this gets completely out of hand!
Note:
Out of concern for the public at large, the statistics on
lawyers have been withheld for fear the shock would cause
people to panic and seek medical attention.
This story takes place on a Native American reservation. One
night, it was very, very cold; so cold that people had to
bundle together to stay warm.
Coincidently,
nine months later, at the reservation hospital, there were
so many women in labor on the same day that every bed in the
maternity ward was full. When another woman came in, the staff
found a deer skin and stretched it out on top of some pillows
to provide for her a comfortable place to deliver. She gave
birth to a healthy baby boy.
Another
woman came in, so the staff found a buffalo skin and stretched
it out on top of some pillows to give her a comfortable place
to deliver. She gave birth to healthy twin baby boys.
Finally,
yet another woman came in. The staff scrambled around, and
found the skin of a hippopotamus (a traveling circus had been
passing through the area earlier that year and their hippo
had died...). They stretched it out on top of some pillows
to give her a comfortable place to deliver. She gave birth
to triplets - three healthy baby boys.
The
story is just another validation of a well-known truism:
"The
sons of the squaw of the hippopotamus are equal to the sons
of the squaws of the other two hides."
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