Best
Things to say if Caught Sleeping At Your Office Desk...
"They told me at the blood bank this might happen."
"This is just a 15 minute power-nap as described in that
time management course you sent me."
"Whew! Guess I left the top off the White-Out You probably
got here just in time!"
"I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement
and envisioning a new paradigm."
"I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance."
"I was doing Yoga exercises to relieve work-related stress."
"Damn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured
out a solution to our biggest problem."
"The coffee machine is broken..."
"Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot..."
You
know you work in Corporate America in the 90's if...
You sat at the same desk for 4 years and worked for three
different companies.
You worked for the same company for 4 years and sat at more
than 10 different desks.
You've been in the same job for 4 years and have had 10 different
managers.
You order your business cards in "half orders" instead
of whole boxes.
When someone asks about what you do for a living, you can't
explain it in one sentence.
You get really excited about a 2% pay raise.
You use acronyms in your sentences.
Your biggest loss from a system crash is that you lose your
best jokes.
You sit in a cubicle smaller than your bedroom closet.
It's dark when you drive to and from work.
Fun is when issues are assigned to someone else.
The word "opportunity" makes you shiver in fear.
You see a good looking person and know it is a visitor.
Free food left over from meetings is your main staple.
Weekends are those days your significant other makes you stay
home.
Being sick is defined as can't walk or you're in the hospital.
Art involves a white board.
You're already late on the assignment you just got.
Dilbert cartoons hang outside every cube and are read by your
co-workers only.
Your boss' favorite lines are "when you get a few minutes"
or "when you're freed up".
You read this entire list and understood it.
After
a 2 year study, the National Science Foundation announced
the following results on the American Male's recreational
preferences:
1. The sport of choice for unemployed or incarcerated people
is: basketball
2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is:
bowling.
3. The sport of choice for blue-collar workers is: football.
4. The sport of choice for supervisors is: baseball.
5. The sport of choice for middle management is: tennis.
6. The sport of choice for corporate officers is: golf.
Conclusion: The higher you rise in the corporate structure,
the smaller your balls become.
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