A
man being mugged by two thugs put up a tremendous fight! Finally,
the thugs subdued him and took his wallet. Upon finding only
two dollars in the wallet, the surprised thug said "Why
did you put up such a fight?" To which the man promptly
replied "I was afraid that you would find the $200 hidden
in my shoe!"
A
couple was having a discussion about what to see and do now
that they were safely in Florida on their honeymoon. Trying
to assert himself rite off the bat, he exploded, "If
it weren't for my money, we wouldn't be here at all!"
The wife replied, "My dear, if it weren't for your money,
not only would we not be in Florida, we wouldn't on a honeymoon,
nor would
there be any "we" in the first place."
What
do you get if you cross a sorceress with a millionaire?
A very witch person.
Can
I borrow that book of yours How To Become A Millionaire?
Sure. Here you are.
Thanks - but half the pages are missing.
What's the matter? Isn't half a million enough for you?
Why is money called dough?
Because we all knead it.
Where do bees keep their money?
In a honey box.
Why did the mean teacher walk around with her purse open?
She'd read there was going to be some change in the weather.
Fred collected lots of money from trick-or-treating and he went
to the candy store to buy some chocolate.
"You should give that money to charity," said the
sales girl.
Fred thought for a moment and said, "No, I'll buy the chocolate.
You give the money to charity."
What happened when the cat swallowed a coin?
There was money in the kitty.
How can a can you double your money?
By folding it in half.
Three animals were having a drink in a cafe, when the owner
asked for the money.
"I'm not paying," said the duck. "I've only got
one bill and I'm not breaking it."
"I've spent my last buck," said the deer.
"Then the duck'll have to pay," said the skunk.
"Getting here cost me my last scent."
Dad,
would you like to save some money?
I certainly would, son.
Any suggestions?
Sure. Why not buy me a bike, then I won't wear my shoes out
so fast.
I
hate paying my income tax.
You should be a good citizen - why don't you pay with a smile?
I'd like to but they insist on money!
The best way of saving money is to forget who you borrowed it
from.
Fred: Thank you so much for lending me that money. I shall be
everlastingly in your debt.
Harry: That's what I'm afraid of!
Have you heard about the new aftershave that drives women crazy?
No!
Tell me about it. It smells of $50 dollar bills.
Have you heard about the new aftershave that drives women crazy?
No!
Tell me about it. It smells of $50 dollar bills.
At
the Cedar Rapids Chamber of Commerce meeting the treasurer
reported a deficit of two hundred dollars.
One
of the chamber members stood up and said,
"I
vote that we donate half of it to the Red Cross and then give
the other fifty dollars to the Salvation Army.
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