Things on the
love landscape sure have changed over the
years...
SAMPLE OF A
MODERN LOVE LETTER
Dearest Samantha,
I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen
in love with you since Tuesday, the 17th of
August 2001.
With reference to the meeting held between us on
the 17th of August 2001 at 1500 hours, I would
like to present myself as a prospective lover.
Our love affair would be on probation for a
period of no less than three months and
depending on compatibility, would be made
permanent.
Of course, upon completion of probation, there
will be continuous relationship training and
relationship appraisal schemes leading up to
promotion from lover to spouse. The expenses
incurred for coffee and entertainment would
initially be shared equally between us. Later,
based on your performance, I might take up a
larger share of the expenses. However I am
broad-minded enough, to be taken care of, on
your expense account.
I request you to kindly respond within 30 days
of receiving this letter, failing which, this
offer would be canceled without further notice
and I shall be considering someone else. I would
be happy, if you could forward this letter to
your sister, if you do not wish to take up this
offer.
Thanking you in anticipation.
Yours sincerely, Max
MODERN REPLY
TO MODERN LOVE LETTER
Dear Max,
Please refer to your letter dated today. I am
pleased to inform you that I hope to accept your
proposal for romance.
However, you should be informed that there are
certain conditions of acceptance. Promotional
prospects are to my satisfaction. However,
please enlighten me as to your retirement
benefits. Gratuity should be generous.
I also need to be assured that there is
sufficient security with regards to this
commitment. If there is any chance at all of
retrenchment or consequent disinterest on your
part, then I should receive monetary
compensation according to union standards.
Due to the nature of my position, I am sure you
will agree that an expense account should be
arranged for my access in light of the 'VIP'. I
shall be entertaining. In addition, housing and
transport allowances should be in order and
nothing less than a Jaguar is in order.
Please also note that there should be no
moonlighting restrictions placed on myself. If
you are still interested in the relationship,
please reply on an urgent basis as other
prospective lovers have sent indications of
interest.
Please also note that my sister is happily
employed.
Yours perhaps, Samantha!
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