These
quotes were taken from actual Federal (US)
employee performance evaluations...
"Since my last report, this employee has reached
rock bottom and has started to dig."
"His men would follow him anywhere, but only out
of morbid curiosity"
"I would not allow this employee to breed"
"This employee is really not so much of a
has-been, but more of a definite won't be"
"Works well when under constant supervision and
cornered like a rat in a trap"
"When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is
only to change feet"
"He would be out of his depth in a parking lot
puddle"
"This young lady has delusions of adequacy"
"He sets low personal standards and then
consistently fails to achieve them"
"This employee is depriving a village somewhere
of an idiot"
"This employee should go far, and the sooner the
better"
"Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing
to hold it all together"
"A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an
ordinary ignoramus"
"He certainly takes a long time to make his
pointless"
"He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier"
"I would like to go hunting with him sometime"
"He's been working with glue too much"
"He would argue with a signpost"
"He has knack for making strangers immediately"
"He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the
room"
"When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell"
"If you see 2 people talking and one looks
bored, he's the other one"
"A photographic memory but with the cap over the
lens"
"A prime candidate for natural deselection"
"Donated his brain to science before he was done
using it"
"Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but
the train isn't coming"
"Has 2 brains, one is lost, the other is out
looking for it"
"If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be
watered twice a week"
"If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd
get change"
"If you stand close enough to him, you can hear
the ocean"
"It's hard to believe that he beat out 1,000
other sperm"
"One neuron short of a synapse"
"Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, he
only gargled"
"Takes him 12 hours to watch 60 Minutes"
"The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead" |
