There are ways
to make just about any situation fun, even going
to your dorm shower...
1. Enter the stall. Shower for about 3 minutes,
then scream really loudly, exclaiming, "I didn't
know I had one of THOSE!"
2. Enter the
stall, fully clothed. Do not undress and make
sure your clothes get all wet and soapy.
Complain when leaving the bathroom that your
shirt tends to bleed.
3. Ask Scottie
to beam you up.
4. Enter the
stall, undress and then re-dress up as Superman.
Leap out of the stall, vengefully vow to stop
Lex Luther's evil plot, then run full force into
the wall. Stand up, shake your head, and proceed
to take your shower.
5. Bring a
bottle of fake blood or ketchup into the shower
with you. Exclaim "Ow! You know, it really hurts
when you pop one of those." Then let the
blood/ketchup seep down the drain for all to
see.
6. Bring in a
rubber chicken. Get it all soapy, then toss in
into the next stall. Demand that the person in
that stall return it to you, or you will cast a
voodoo curse on them. The next day, hang the
chicken from the bathroom lighting fixtures by a
noose and stick numerous pins and forks in it.
7. Have a
seizure. Bang against the walls of the stall
really hard. Try to knock them down. If anyone
later asks if you are okay, just say that you
had some Mexican Jumping Fava Beans and they
were reacting negatively with your stomach.
8. Stand in the
bathroom, waiting for would-be shower-goers.
When they come in, tell them "not to do it" and
ask them "not to give in to sin." Wail
mournfully when they step into the shower.
9. Initiate a
war with the person in the stall next to you.
Use the residual water on the floor as your
battle medium, and float little battleships over
to their side. If they kick them back or throw
them over the edge, exclaim that you didn't know
they had the power of God and sheepishly mumble
prayers for the duration of your shower.
10. Bring in a
fake finger. Float it down the drainage "ditch."
Ask if someone would be so kind as to return it
to you. If no one does, tell them that the
finger has been sacrificed to Satan and that the
shower stalls are now possessed. Hang Halloween
decorations and crepe-paper ghosts from them the
next day.
11. Bang your
head against the stall wall, shouting "Redrum!
Redrum!" in your best groggy voice.
12. Bring a
Yoo-Hoo chocolate milk drink to the shower with
you. Complain about a stomach ache, then moan "Ohhhh,
um, uh-oh," and squirt the Yoo-Hoo down the
drain "ditch" for all to see.
13. Before you
turn the shower on, make a noise like you are
charging up a proton pack from Ghostbusters.
Before you turn it off, ask Egon to set the trap
up for you.
14. Bring a
balloon into the shower. Make the balloon squeak
for the duration of your bathing experience.
Then pop it, and fall to the ground as if shot.
15. Bring dead
fish into the shower with you. Let them float
down the drainage "ditch", complaining angrily
about the quality of water these days.
16. Hang up the
names of different farm animals in the stalls.
Have everyone entering the stalls join you in a
rendition of "Old McDonald Had A Farm," making
the sound of the animal in their stall.
17. Turn the
stall into a shrine for a pagan god. Call him
Weeshy. Insist that anyone who uses that stall
must tithe to receive his benevolence and glory.
If they don't tithe, avoid them for the rest of
your life.
18. Take your
shower like normal, and then begin screaming
that the Communists are taking over. Make battle
sounds -- including bombs, bazookas, and tanks.
Towards the end, wearily declare victory. Leave
wounded.
19. Blow
bubbles. Exclaim that you are dissolving.
20. Bring in a
bucket, fill it with water, and float a bar of
soap in it. Charge a fee for people to see the
Wicked Witch of the West bathing nude. Threaten
anyone who laughs at you with flying monkeys.
21. Start
singing Pavarotti really loud. In the middle,
stop, stutter for a second, and then exclaim "Ohmigosh...do
you know what these words REALLY mean?"
22. Suck on the
faucet head until you fill up with water.
Complain that the Seven Chinese Brothers get no
respect, OR pretend to be a fountain.
23. Wet your
head, and then sneak into a toilet stall. Flush
the bowl and wait a minute. Walk out of the
stall lurching, complaining about how dizzy you
are.
24. Buy a bunch
of those tiny animal-pills that expand into
full, spongy shapes when they get wet. Bring
them into the shower and spill them into the
ditch. Ask somebody for your pills back, and
when they hand you little animals, scream, slap
them, and run away.
25. Make your
best Psycho noise (reeEENT reeEENT...).
26. Try to get
everyone in the other stalls to sing in
four-part harmony with you. If this actually
works, change your voice part every three
measures.
27. Become a
shower-pirate. Loot other stalls of soap, Oxy
pads, and Q-Tips. Bury them under the tile
floor. Fire cannons at people using toilet
balls.
28. Bring scuba
gear into the shower with you. Talk to Cousteau.
Upon leaving, tell everyone that the Titanic was
actually torpedoed by the Germans. Be cocky.
29. Hum for a
couple of moments, stop, make an "Mmmm!" sound,
and then announce to everyone that the mildew on
the shower walls kind of tastes like head
cheese.
30. Coat the
floor in a fine layer of quick-drying cement.
31. Hang
"Marisa Cevasco steals Homecoming Queen Crown"
signs in all the stalls. If anyone asks who
Marisa Cevasco is, call them ignorant and ignore
them for the rest of your life.
32. Bring in
Sesame Street bath books. Read them aloud.
Giggle every time Bert walks in on Ernie
bathing.
33. Stare at
people's feet as they bathe. If they do not wash
their feet, tell them to. If this happens a
second time, steal their shoes and tell them
that they left on strike. If they DO wash their
feet and fall down while doing it, laugh
hysterically.
34. Stand
outside the shower curtain, raise a harpoon, and
shout "I'm coming for you, Moby!" Run in and do
battle with the faucet-head. Walk out a peg leg.
35. Charge a
toll for people wanting to use the shower. If
they complain, light them on fire. THEN they'll
pay.
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