In
case you need further proof that the human race is doomed
because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions
on consumer goods:
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (darn, and
that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
Details inside. (the shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular
soap." (and that would be how???...)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion:
Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do
not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be
hot after heating." (...and you thought????..)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes
on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car
or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We
could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents
if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off
those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because???.....)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the
other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this.
I'm a bit curious.)
On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash!)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions:
Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one:
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment
does not enable you to fly."
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain
with your hands or genitals." (..was there a lot of this
happening somewhere?)
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